Allowing the Mask to Slip?

Anxiety! Do you suffer from it?

It seems that a vast number of people do, including young people and children.

Anxiety is described as a feeling of fear, dread or uneasiness which  can cause nausea, rapid heartbeat and sweating. 

It can be a  short term reaction such as waiting for exam results, or more long term, such as  an overpowering  feeling of not being able to cope with daily tasks.

Looking back at my last blog, on the different career pathways that young people might take, it has to be said that a great many of them will be experiencing some degree of anxiety.

It is natural to feel nervous and apprehensive when leaving home for the first time, and settling in to student life or to a work environment among strangers and a different way of life. Usually, once the first week or two have passed and the new pattern of daily life begins to take shape, most people begin to relax and enjoy the new lifestyle.

For some, that will not be the case. Anxiety will continue to dominate their lives. 

It may affect their sleeping and eating patterns, affect their social interaction and ability to study or carry out tasks.

The reasons could be home sickness or a feeling of being overwhelmed by too many new experiences all at once.

Fortunately there is help at hand, as universities and colleges are very aware of this situation. Many schools are now providing support for pupils suffering from anxiety, and some work places are providing Mindfulness and stress reducing classes for staff.

A huge number of days are lost due to people feeling so anxious that they cannot face going to work. If it is prolonged, it can lead to depression, as the feelings are so intense that they make the person feel worthless with a low self esteem.

There is also an increase in another anxiety linked factor and that is the huge number of people of all ages and genders being diagnosed with Autistic Spectrum Disorders, such as autism and A.D.H.D. (Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder)

Many adults who have spent a lifetime feeling "different", and imagining all sorts of things being wrong with them can be  included.

Very recently, a member of my family has been diagnosed as a "high functioning" autistic girl.

It has taken two years to make the diagnosis, and wavered between A.D.H.D. and autism, as several of the signs and symptoms overlap.

She displays very few signs, and is an absolute genius at "masking" her way through life, and would probably have slipped through the net, had it not been for certain tell indications picked up over the years.

She finds social interaction with friends difficult, is very untidy,  and feels anxious a great deal of the time, and can have full blown melt downs.

Autism was previously considered to be a disorder of boys, but it has now been found that girls can be autistic too, but present with a different set of signs and symptoms.

Boys seem to display outer behavioural signs such as aggression or hyper activity, whilst girls internalize and hide their true feelings behind a "mask", and are able to get through the day by mimicking and conforming to the social norms of their friends without raising many suspicions.

It is only when home, that the pressure cooker of pent up emotions can explode in what is called a "melt down", which needs careful handling by parents and family, and not a reprimand which is often the case, as it only intensifies the feeling of despair.

Signs and symptoms vary enormously, from individuals  who show little difference to their peers, to those who require a great deal of assistance in order to function.

As with so many conditions, there is evidence which suggests a strong family link, i.e. one parent or both being on the spectrum.

For most parents this comes as a surprise, as whilst growing up, spectrum disorders were not spoken about, or perhaps only associated to those severely affected. It is only when families start filling out questionnaires which list possible links, that they start to remember small triggers when they were young, which were put down to being a bit "weird" or "eccentric", but never acted upon. They feel as if a big question mark has been answered, having  gone through a life time knowing they weren`t  quite the same as everyone else, but not knowing what the difference was.

I put myself into this category.

I always felt "different" at school, although I can`t say it held me back or prevented me making friends.  I found it difficult to express myself socially, and to speak out in class, and was considered to be very "shy". My own reasoning for this was that I was an only child, my parents were "elderly" and we moved around a lot, so had to change schools frequently, so fitting in was difficult.

Although intelligent, I  was always losing things, and was described by teachers as "not paying attention" and made careless mistakes. These are early indications of spectrum disorders.

 Over the years I must have developed coping mechanisms, and now I have no difficulty with social interactions, and have made a number of public speaking appearances, although I still find making small talk a pointless exercise.

Another unusual marker that I have is no interest in shopping, and "girly" pursuits. I would much rather have a discussion about politics or a subject with some substance to it, preferably with a male, rather than discuss fashion or hair styles. I thought it was just me, but have discovered it is quite a common trait among  females on the spectrum, along with the aversion to small talk.

I don`t consider that I hide behind a mask, and not sure if I did when younger, although I`m sure pretty much everyone does at some time in their life.

Anxiety was not a problem other than in expected situations. No help was ever offered in this area, so it was very much a sink or swim way of dealing with it

I feel I am now totally comfortable with myself, and like my differences and eccentricities, as I don`t want to be the same as everyone else.

I think I made the negative issues work for me rather than trying to change them, but I realize that I didn`t know what I was dealing with at the time. 

Not having been diagnosed as being on the spectrum, I don`t know where I would fit in, but it has been interesting finding out these things about my personality which clearly could have been much  further reaching. Without having done some research into spectrum disorders, I would be blissfully unaware that I was probably on the spectrum myself!

Looking back, I`m sure my late father would be considered on the spectrum. He was a  highly intelligent artistic man, but with a number of traits  which we used to put down to his eccentric  way of doing things, hence the frequent house moves mentioned earlier.

Anxiety is a huge component of spectrum disorders, quite possibly as the individuals  are so worried about fitting in and understanding social cues, and imagining all sorts of things being wrong with them.

Although there has been a massive number of children,  young people  and an increasing number of adults diagnosed, there may well be a huge number who are undiagnosed, and many of them could be those individuals who are suffering from anxiety and don`t know why.

It makes us realize that certain people that we have met over the years who perhaps had a "quirky" or "individual" personality, may well have been on the spectrum and were actually suffering internally, and desperately wanting to fit in.

Questionnaires on spectrum disorders are available online, and are a useful way of comparing any suspicions you or a member of your family may have.

Of course it may be easy to over react and think signs are there when they are not.

Often  signs and symptoms overlap, but sometimes it is the more subtle ones which the person may have thought were specifically theirs and unimportant, only to find that they are indeed very significant.

It seems a bit of a mystery as to why there are so many cases appearing. Some will argue that it is only because spectrum disorders are being spoken about that more people are coming forward. Children are being skills assessed at nurseries and concerns may be picked up there. There are also many other suggested theories.

However, looking back in history, there is evidence that spectrum disorders existed, but were interpreted differently.

It is important to recognize that a spectrum disorder is not an illness or disease.

It seems it is a neurological function in the brain which appears to differ from what is accepted as a recognized set of behaviour patterns. In other words "wired differently".

There are sometimes huge pluses on the creative side as many on the spectrum are gifted academically and in the arts, but struggle with expressing themselves verbally. This gap in social interaction manifests itself in anxiety and feelings of lack of self worth.

This "wiring" of the brain seems to allow the individual to often think "out the box", and take actions that others would hesitate to do, or to find solutions to complicated problems.

A famous example is Elon Musk, who has a unique way of looking at the world, which  has helped him make a fortune. There has  also been widespread speculation that Mark Zukerberg and Bill Gates are also on the spectrum, although neither one of them has admitted to being diagnosed, but it has been observed that they both seem to display  a number of spectrum characteristics. They all attempt ambitious  schemes which others would think twice about.

There is a variety of help and support available if diagnosed to be on the spectrum, although like all mental health issues, financial and professional investment is urgently needed. The diagnostic process seems to vary, but is generally a fairly long one.

There is a lot of information online and many personal stories on YouTube which are most interesting and helpful.

We know so little about spectrum disorders, and probably everyone will have different interpretations into what they think they are. It is a fascinating subject which once again shows the complexity of the brain. I now have a  vested interest , so look forward to educating myself further!

A helpful website is the National Autistic Society:  www.autism.org.uk

                                      National Autistic Facebook group

DISCLAIMER:

Any interpretations of disorders found on the Autistic Spectrum which are mentioned in this blog, are of a general nature.

The author is not a doctor, psychiatrist or psychologist, and has commented on findings  which are freely available in studies and literature online and elsewhere.

Personal information has been shared as a matter of interest only.

Further investigation should be made via a recognized medical route if a suspected diagnosis is required.